Frasier

(Bebe and Frasier have slept together)

Frasier: All right just go ahead. Get your shots in.

Niles: No no. I'm just glad you're all right. I would have assumed she killed after mating.

Niles: (reading from a retirement home brochure) "We care so you don't have to"

Frasier: You are asking me to give up my study where I do my reading my most profound thinking.

Martin: Oh use the can like the rest of the world!

Frasier: “My wife had left me, which was very painful. Then she came back to me, which was excruciating.”

Frasier: I have a built in mental clock. When I was a child, when we played hide and seek, I was the only one who didn't have to say 'one hippopotamus, two hippopotamus . . .'

Niles: Water should come in handy for putting out those pesky purse fires.

Frasier: I'm not chicken. I'm just really hesitant.

Frasier: I'm at a loss for words.

Kate: Wouldn't you know? On the day I'm leaving.

Frasier: Oh, what do I ever say? "You're in denial, seek help," blah blah blah.

Niles: Her lips were saying "no," but her eyes were saying, "read my lips."

Daphne: Sex. That's your answer for everything. It's like you're part rabbit. People ought to rub your feet for luck.

Sherry: I just love making people laugh. I think humor is like medicine.

Niles: (aside) Oh, we must be in the placebo group.

Frasier: Don't stare at me, Eddie. I'm a humane man but in the mood I'm in, I could kick a kitten through an electric fan!

Frasier: Once a woman has dipped her toe in Crane lake, dry land is never the same again!

Niles: Have you seen those pistachios? It's like I'm chewing gravel. It's a wonder I haven't died from them.

Frasier: Yes, your ability to thwart death has never ceased to amaze me.

Come, my friends,

‘Tis not too late to seek a newer world.

Push off, and sitting well in order smite

The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths

Of all the western stars, until I die

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,

And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.

Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are:

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

--“Ulysses” by Alfred, Lord Tennyson (quoted by Frasier in his farewell speech)

Frasier: I do not have a fat face.

Niles: Oh, please. I keep wondering how long you're going to store those nuts for winter.